i don't know what i'm doing (lols what a shocker)

This time last year I had no clue where I'd be in 2018. I was still studying at college and didn't really know what I wanted to do once I left compulsory education in the summer. I didn't know whether I wanted to take a gap year before going to university, or whether I even wanted to go to uni at all. I didn't know where I'd be working that year, or that I'd meet so many incredible people as a result. I didn't know that I'd learn how to drive, nor did I know that I'd actually leave home later that year. To put it simply, I didn't know what the fuck I was doing. But with the New Year now well underway, it leaves the question: Where are we going this year?

And the answer is exactly the same as last year. I don't have a clue. But I'm optimistic and not putting pressure on myself to know the answer yet. Last year with leaving college, it felt like I had to know exactly what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. There's this seemingly unwritten rule that once you leave education, the path you choose then is the one you will stay on for the rest of your life. And as most of us know, this isn't always the case. But I felt like there was this pressure to know exactly what I wanted my career to be. So I bit the bullet, picked my degree and now here I am in Brighton. 

As I've said many times over on Twitter in the last few months, I love Brighton. It's a beautiful city and one which I feel very lucky to live in. But I still don't feel completely settled here. I yearn to go back home a lot more than I thought I would, but I put that down to the fact that the majority of my close friends still live in or around my home-town. One thing I have struggled with since moving is feeling lonely. I sometimes feel isolated when here in Brighton, and that seems like such a ridiculous thought considering I'm living in a university city. But not having these long-established friendships and connections is something I've never had to experience before. I've always lived in the same area, and thankfully never fell out majorly with any of my friends. I want to find my feet in Brighton and get myself settled properly, especially seeing as it's costing me hella dollar (something every student knows too well).

I'll be honest here. I've had many moments in the last couple of months where I've just wanted to drop out and move home again. I've felt so lost and out of place - as I'm sure many people do when they settle into university and life away from home. But I'm not gonna give in quite yet. I want journalism to be my career, and I think that this is the best way to help me get there. 

Another thing I want to do this year is to write more. Obviously, I'm doing my degree, but more so for Five Foot Seven. I'm planning various post ideas and deciding what I want to write about, and posts may be a little less frequent whilst I try and get myself back on track. I love blogging, and Five Foot Seven is something I'm incredibly proud of. I want to be able to showcase my best work, rather than cringing at some of my 'filler' posts. I actually deleted and reverted a whole load to drafts earlier and it was surprisingly cathartic. But as I have said time and time again, I love writing and working on Five Foot Seven. I'm incredibly proud of what it has become and we're actually nearing its third birthday this month - something I didn't think I'd actually achieve.

With my degree being in Music Journalism, naturally, it's a topic that I want to incorporate more and more into this blog. It's my passion and my hobby, and I want to write about it as much as I can for those reasons. I'm looking for bands and artists to interview and review, so if you know any then throw them my way. And that's just about the long and short of it. I don't know where this year is going to take me, but it's exciting and nerve-wracking, and hopefully, it's the start of great things to come.


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